thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Randomize
