that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
