yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
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Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
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and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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