Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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