he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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