the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
