I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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