I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
