I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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