my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
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