I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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