Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
