Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
