Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
