the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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