Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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