the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
