He is such a slut. More and more my type.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
