I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
