Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
