No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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