I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
