Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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