There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
