Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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