And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
