I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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