Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
