Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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