"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I need to calm my uterus...
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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