Don't you send me to vm
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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