Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
