"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
my poor anus
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
