i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
