He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
