The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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