Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
