let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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