nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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