He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
