I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
