someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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