What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
smell my finger.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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