just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
