Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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