It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize