Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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