Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
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had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
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I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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