she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
