Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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