You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
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