Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
