My cat gives me a boner
it was like eating out sand paper
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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