you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
