I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Shame - the story of my life.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
