Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
