She said her name was "party"
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?