Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize