but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
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