Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Randomize
