I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize