Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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