I think I won the penis lottery.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
