How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
