Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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