He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
