He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
