if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
