Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
